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The Day That Will Forever Mark Our World
“Where are you?” the nurse asked, shining a flashlight into my husband’s eyes. “La Crosse, Wisconsin.” He winced. “The hospital.” “And why are you here?” “I have a brain tumor,” he said. I turned...
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A New Foundation
I clean blood from behind my husband’s ears with our daughters’ tearless shampoo. Muddy shoes on the front porch, his truck parked where he left it after planting apple trees, putting his t-shirts away...
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Valley of Dry Bones
We sat across from each other—our sick four-month-old in my lap, our sick toddler having a meltdown in the living room, a delicious meal before us that I had not prepared. My shorn husband looked so...
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Time For This
A bald eagle screeched in the distance. A derelict silo broke up the horizon’s striated hues of blue, purple, and pink. My boots sunk into the melted slush covering the dirt road. My four-month-old...
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The Compost Jar of The Mind
I was sitting in a patch of sunlight warming the kitchen table—pumping milk, listening to classical music on Pandora, and reading an article about being a kind mama. Garbanzo beans were cooking on the...
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The Velveteen Mama ~ The Complicated Gift of Becoming Real
Over these past three years since my daughter’s birth, I have been in the process of becoming real. Like Velveteen Mama real. I am sure you know the premise of The Velveteen Rabbit, either from having...
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Until We Feel The Warmth Again
My husband comes outside as I’m trying to put my fitful heart into words. He munches on a piece of dark chocolate, his work boots in hand. “That’s funny.” He smiles. “It’s 41 degrees, and you’re...
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Stepping Into The Wind
And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” And they...
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Though We See Through A Glass, Darkly
“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12 I stood at the sink, washing dishes. Wind and...
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An Attitude of Gratitude
Last night, after a romantic date consisting of pizza, groceries, and a car wash—all of which we had two kids along for the ride—we tucked said kids in bed and my husband and I sat down in the living...
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Just As You Are
In the car, I read from the Bible, merely because I felt like I needed some biblical refreshment before I duct-taped my husband to the driver’s seat. Ten minutes later, I breathed deep, looked over,...
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The Ones Who Make It Home
Last night, I was sitting in the field beside our house. The hay had just been cut and rolled into bales. The clouds were dark and rippling behind the tree tops; fireflies floated above the shorn...
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A Lesson From Tolling Bells
I was in the park with my daughters this week when the courthouse bells chimed, announcing that it was twelve o’ clock. My heart constricted with a strange longing, and though I at first had no idea...
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The Power of Music
Monday morning, fresh from the shower, I opened the vintage music box I’d gotten for Christmas and took out my earrings, then turned the little dial so the music would play. Miss A, my almost...
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Setting Our Broken World Right
This afternoon, as we waited for the results of my husband’s MRI and CAT scan, I looked around at the light flooding through Mayo Clinic’s wall of windows, at the pigeons pecking the flat roof of the...
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Going the Distance
Barn swallows are writing invisible calligraphy in the azure sky, and the unglaciered hills in the distance are brilliant, summer green. Hummingbirds are sipping nectar from the purple flower baskets...
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We Don’t Have a Whole Lot in Common (and That’s Okay)
Our daughters were whining; the back of the van was filled with groceries; a cardboard box was on the floorboard, containing three leftover slices of mushroom pizza. My husband turned on the radio to...
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Life’s Bittersweet Symphony
The September night we wed, my husband and I slow-danced. All I remember is how the two of us rocked back and forth as the crystals embroidering the hem of my dress cracked beneath his rental shoes. My...
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My Partner in Life, Not Just in Parenting
Three years ago, I took my firstborn daughter for a walk when it was ten degrees. I bundled her up in an Eskimo snowsuit and wrapped one of my scarves around the lower half of her face, so that you...
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What Makes a Marriage Compatible?
The first picture we took together, ten years ago. If my husband and I were on eHarmony, I’m not sure we would be a match. I’m not even sure we would match up in the “What if” section since our...
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